Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

First crush, kiss, touch, fuck. things i'll never get back. I guess thinking that i'll never have that excitement, the nervous rush, the first experience again means i'll spend my time looking for something that feels as good. Who knows what that will be? Once they are gone that heightened sense of anticipation goes with it, you know what it feels like, the overbearing feeling now is that everything else just loses its rush. Will my heart beat as fast as the first time? will my lip shake as I look at her face and begin to lean in? I'm longing to be refreshed and get those feelings back, because now they are gone I miss every moment I spent just wondering of how it would be. I suppose the feeling that replaces it now is loving someone, knowing that she can make me truly happy, the drunken nights, the lost arguments that time forgets and the overwhelming feeling that she could be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Which one I prefer I'm not sure, but I don't know how many 'first's' I have left and I intend to make everyone count so that when its all over, I know that every first I had the chance to do I did and regrets are made to remind us that we are human and without them good memories wouldn't be half as special. First crush,kiss,touch,fuck. They all have to come sometime but each day is different and life is a blank canvas so I'm painting my own picture I just need the paint.